Beer at 8:30am, AKA Job Interview Number 1

Once upon a time I had a blog, but I found I had nothing interesting to write, so the blog died a natural blog death, 4 posts and then lost to oblivion. I think that the internet is broken down like this:

79% porn

10% forums of people arguing with idiots

5% blogs with 4 posts

4% the google.

1% legitimate (non-porn) webpages

1% email money scams (I has a clients in baghdad with $1MILLION USD currency cash for you!)

I’m going to try and be a little better with this blog.

My current goal is to find a new job. I’ll have to write a future blog on what type of job I am looking for, but I thought I’d just start to document the job search so far.

So first of all, last night I did not swim, instead I prepared for my interview today. Interestingly enough, all my preparation could not have prepared me for what I found.

So the interview was in a business park, and the day started with me parked in back lot (I haven’t driven to work in almost 5 years) after arriving 20 minutes early. A guy in a suit pulls up in the spot next to me in a Ford truck. He cracks open a can of beer, pounds it, and then walks into the office park. This is not some dinky little place, in this complex alone there are 2 fortune 500 companies, so this was a little unexpected. Crossing my fingers that he wasn’t one of my interviewers, I went up.

I was informed upon arrival that the primary interviewer (we’ll call him Roger) was going to be busy all day and would not be able to interview me…but Ed has gladly stepped in to help (names changed to protect the kind-of innocent). I have 3 interviews and a quiz (wtf a quiz?). First interview is the typical, why do you want to work here etc…stuff. On the way to second interview we walk by Roger’s corner office, he is having a doughnut and flirting with some larger blond girl. Hmmm….busy indeed.

Interview 2 was more of the same, nothing special, and interview 3 was with a guy who “really doesn’t know the group that well since I’m in another department. I just agreed to do this interview because they know me.” After interview 3, we walk by Rogers office again, he’s watching a video on his computer with some other guys (no longer can see blonde.)

Time for the quiz. I’m shown into a conference room, given a pad of paper, a pencil and the quiz. Question 1: There are 10 bottles on a table, 2 are beer, 2 are milk, 3 are water and 3 are poison (question changed slightly). If a beer and a water have to be on one end etc…

Which of the following is true:

a) If the second bottle is milk, would you drink the 7^th bottle?

b) If the 10^th bottle is water and the second one is poison, who’s on first?

c) Etc…

There are 24 questions, halfway into question 3 I have to pee (probably all the talk about bottles of liquid). I coolly slip out of the conference room, out the office door and into the very clean bathroom…..zip, all done, hands washed, ready to tackle the next 21 questions, f*ck, the office door is locked shut, I need a pass to get back in.

10 minutes pass (I now have 35 mins left for the questions) and finally I track down secretary who is willing to let me back in (but only after she confirms with Roger that I am in fact an interviewee. Whew, back in my conference room, ready to tackle the rest of these questions.

Question 7:

At the junior Olympics there are 5 events and 4 teams. Each event has a gold, silver and bronze medal. Answer the following questions with the following assumptions:

Team 1 doesn’t win any golds

Team 2 wins 3 golds

No team goes 2 events without winning a medal

No team wins 2 gold consecutively

Team 4 is full of American idol contestants who thought this was the special olympics

(ok I made last one up, and the special Olympics are awesome)

If Team 3 gets a gold medal in event 2, what is Team 4’s favorite survivor episode:

a) The one where the mean gay guy got the immunity idol and won

b) Snooki is the obviously the best character

c) You got punk’d

d) Imma let you finish.

Finished there and now I have my HR contact to give me the summary and I’m done.

On my way out I run into Roger again, heading out to grab a coffee with the blonde coworker. He has a wedding band, she does not, I notice these little things. He wishes me luck, I return the gesture, and I'm out.

Interview done, but honestly, I think I’m better off at my dead-end job than that company. More on that dead end job later.